Day 1-ClearVite Cleanse & Not Eating Anything Yummy or Good

Today is Day Number 1 of 'Doing What the Acupuncturist Told Me' and that is to eat this powdery stuff that is supposed to clean out my insides and to stop eating peanuts, tomatoes, milk, soy, gluten/wheat, corn (in my particular case), and eggs.

Obviously, I'm a bit saddened by these restrictions in my diet, but it's only three weeks and I know I can do it! If, as the acupuncturist surmises, I can a) stop the inflammation in my body and b) get my thyroid functioning again, then it'll all be well worth it. The alternative I have been offered by several MDs is basically to take pain relievers (for the arthritis) and wait until my body starts attacking other parts of itself, like my liver. I choose Door #1, with the possibility of a cure. After all, Door #2, slow death at the hand of my own immune system is STILL an option if Door #1 turns out to be hogwash.This blog is basically to let you all know how acupuncture and herbal medicine goes and if it works, encourage you to try it. So, let me be your human guinea pig of medicine.

Also, this blog will probably include lots of disgusting details about my health and my life, so if you don't want to read about it, stop now. :) You've been warned and are heretofore taking responsibility for the damage to your psyche if you proceed.

The idea is that something I'm eating is causing inflammation because I'm 'sensitive' to it. After the three weeks of not eating anything yummy, I am supposed to eat one of the foods that were taken out to see if it causes an allergic reaction...like diarreah. So, those should be some fun weeks:

"Mm, scrambled eggs for breakfast? Sure."

-2 hours and some diarreah later-

"Nope, eggs are on the NO list..."

So far today I've had chicken sausage, applesauce, tea, milk-free chocolate, a strange-but-surprisingly-good millet tortilla, something called a 'Macrobar', and some veggies. It's not so bad.

An anecdote from my appointment:

Me: "Mr. Acupuncturist, do you have any herbal remedies that I might try to stimulate my thyroid?"

Mr. Acupuncturist (MA): "Well, look at it this way, if you were remodeling a house that was dirty and disgusting, where would you start? I mean, the plumbing is shot, there's mold everywhere, there's a lot of work to be done."

Me: "What are you trying to tell me about myself?"

MA: Blank look.

Me: "...um, I guess I would gut the place."

MA: Silence.

Me: "...or, I would make a list of what needed to be done?"

MA: "Okay, well, wouldn't you clean stuff up first? Paint some walls? With you, I need to clean everything out first."

Fail! But on the upside, I'm hoping to be a shiny, new painted house soon. :)

Things I Learned Today:

ClearVite powder is disgusting when mixed with apple juice (Yes, I can eat apples, you jerks!). I won't do it again.

For a Hilarious List of All the Doctors I've Seen, Click Here: http://nickyquinby.blogspot.com/p/backstory.html.