By The Numbers

The Internet is a beautiful thing. I have been messing around with this blog, seeing who is reading and from where.

The breakdown of page views by COUNTRY is as follows:

United States-4,312
Russia-187
Germany-43
Canada-31
Latvia-18
Panama-15
Australia-14
Singapore-10
Brazil-9
Jersey-4

United Kingdom-2
China-1
Germany-1
India-1

Now, I'm not a math whiz. At all. I recently looked through a gigantic box of old report cards and homework and consistently I got a C or WORSE in math. Once I got a B+, it's true, but I'm mostly sure that was pity from the teacher and not capability or comprehension on my part. I also attempted a math problem I'd previously gotten wrong in the 3rd grade and I GOT IT WRONG AGAIN. I cried a little into my dairy-free, wheat-free chai.

I digress. I'm not interested in these numbers, per se, but let's be frank. RUSSIA?! After the U.S., the most people who have read my eclectic blog are people from Russia.

Who is reading this blog in Russia? What is happening? What are the search terms they used that brought them to me? I would have at least assumed there would be more people stumbling upon this blog from an English-speaking country, but a measly 2 people (unless it's one person who visited twice) from the U.K. have read this. I'm not counting Canada. (I'm joking, I'm joking...) Don't even get me started on Latvia. I'm not entirely sure where it is. :/

These are some of the search terms that brought people to my blog (take a moment to reflect on how creepy it is that Blogger can tell me this information):

• "masking clearvite taste"-I was no help on this one. My only advice in this department is that if you drink things fast enough it really doesn't matter what it tastes like. It's stopping to reflect on the taste that gets people into trouble.

• "pregnancy rash on face"-Again, I'm sure my blog proved a disappointment.

•  "guinea pig growth chart"-I can only assume someone is very concerned that their guinea pig is growing at the appropriate rate. These someones probably need more social interaction. ;) 

• "rheumatoid arthritis rash pictures tiny red dots"-Mm. This might the time to educate the masses in search terms, using AND/OR and quotation marks to refine things a little.

The post with the most page views is "This Shit Just Got Real" which I'm fairly sure is solely because I used the word "shit". I will heretofore conduct an experiment in which I use curse words in my post titles and see if it raises readership. Now you are ALL my Guinea Pigs! Bwahaha!