In Praise of My Daughter

In light of having miscarriages, I have been overwhelmed with thankfulness for my two kiddos. A few weeks ago I was playing with my daughter and I suddenly got very emotional. I told her how thankful I was that she was her and I started crying, but more out of thankfulness than sadness. She's just a miracle! At first, she thought my crying grimace was laughter and asked, "Mom, it's funny?" and I told her it was kind of funny. Then she noticed the tears and she said, "Mom, don't be sad! It's okay, don't be sad." I just hugged her hard.

That girl is a miracle child and let me tell you why. 

When I had my last ultrasound and they told me it looked like the gestational sac was at least 50% abrupted. It reminded my of my pregnancy with my DD. At 11 weeks I started bleeding pretty heavily. My DH and I called my mother-in-law to watch the toddler boy and we left in a hurry. Everyone was pretty somber and we assumed I would miscarry. At the midwive's office, however, we found that our little baby's heartbeat was still thumping away! Even though part of her placenta had abrupted and there was about a cup of blood hanging out in there with her, she was fine! It was a 'wait and see' sort of thing.

As time went on, the hemorrhage was absorbed. Fast forward through all that other horribleness to when she was born. She had/has an ear tag and sacral dimples. Initially because of the dimples they thought she had some degree of spina bifida. Cue the Mother Freakout. Over time, they have faded a little, she walks fine, and everyone calmed down a little bit. I looked into the ear tag and discovered that ear tags can also indicate a congenital defect-specifically kidney, urinary tract problems, and even hearing loss.

Then there's the fact that I was probably having some sort of thyroid problems during her pregnancy, I just didn't know about it. This article is flat-out entitled: Thyroid Disease Raises Risk For Birth Defects. "Twenty-one babies (18 percent) had birth defects, including problems in the cardiac, renal and central nervous systems and other disorders such as sunken chest, extra fingers, cleft lip and palate, and ear deformities. Two fetuses died before being delivered."

Another page, Thyroid Disease and Pregnancy, says that "... recent studies have suggested that mild brain developmental abnormalities may be present in children born to women who had mild untreated hypothyroidism during pregnancy."

So, my daughter might have had a degree of spina bifida (like a tethered spine), might have had kidney problems, and she might have had impaired brain development.

She doesn't.

I think God probably has a lot to do with that.

"For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb."

-Psalm 139:13