Going Rogue, Like Sarah Palin...Kind Of

Today I got some lab results in the mail. As I am currently fatigued (I got up at 4 am for no apparent reason) and exhausted, it seems worse than it might otherwise.

My TSH levels are high right now, at 13.250, normal should be somewhere around 2.0. So it seems I have swung from one extreme to the other. I suppose that's not really surprising. If I expect my body to fix itself I think it will take some time, a little trial and error. I don't think it will kick back into gear this quickly. It's been a month since I've had any medications...

Now for the weird part. All of my other hormone levels are normal.

And the weirder part-my TPO levels (the level of antibodies against some sort of thyroid enzyme...) are lower than they ever have been. When I first took a TPO test back in October 2010ish, they were 85. Below 35 is normal. Even more months after my pregnancy, it was at 56. Lower, but still too high.

Normally doctors do this test once and never do it again because they think it doesn't indicate anything. If you have the antibody, you will always have the antibody. But I don't have an abnormal level of these anymore. I spent quite awhile trying to find someone else online with this phenomenon, but couldn't. "Normal hormone levels, normal TPO (but previously high), and high TSH..." Apparently I'm the only one.

I found that sometimes weird hormone levels can be associated with pituitary problems, like non-cancerous tumors. But usually it seems like other hormone levels would also be messed up, so I'm hopeful that this isn't the case with me. Some weirdo tumors can secrete hormones. Sometimes there's even something called 'heterophilic antibodies" that can skew some blood tests.

I have a phone call into CAG, but I don't know what to do. A traditional M.D. would tell me to take Levothyroxine. I don't think I will. I have officially gone rogue.

My husband and I are thinking instead of taking something...I will just...wait. This goes against my nature. All of my other hormone levels are normal, whose to say that my TSH won't level out? Whose to say that I'm not still vascillating back and forth from hyper to hypo? Unless I have a blood test every hour, it's impossible to tell.

Body After Baby

 It's been a year after I had my last baby and I'm still trying to gain weight back. You heard me.I keep going through weight dips because I a) have been prescribed too much thryoid hormone or b) tried herbal remedies at the same time as taking an M.D. prescribed thryoid hormone, which I do not recommend. Being underweight is just as scary as being overweight. No one tells teenage girls this, but it's true.

In any case, right around now (when my DD is one) is when my DH and I would have started thinking about conceiving a Baby #3. This has been on my mind a lot lately because I thought that I would have been mostly "over" my health issues by now.

This post is more therapy and mental-processing for myself than for anybody else's benefit. :) I'm trying to assess what I have been told, what I have read, and how I feel in terms of expanding our family anytime soon.

*I've been told I can still have another baby. Both the M.D.'s who I feel have no handle on what is going on with my body have said this and my Cool Acupuncture Guy. It's been very reassuring to have someone outside of my marriage have faith and confidence in my ability to bear children.

*The fluctuation in my weight hasn't been because of malnutrition, but because I've been periodically getting TOO MUCH thyroid hormone, which makes my metabolism super fast. Though I'm sure the big D hasn't helped matters.

*Pregnancy with an autoimmune condition is considered high-risk. Those that I have found explicitly listed are rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, scleroderma, and a few more that I don't have. I have been tested and re-tested for a battalion of autoimmune diseases and been told that I don't have them. This is one reason I feel frustrated with the Western medical profession--I don't fit in any of their boxes, but they're still trying to medicate me.

*I have a sneaking suspicion that if I hadn't been so over-treated initially, I wouldn't have been set on such a yo-yo course. I think that the massive dose of thyroid hormone just made things worse for my already confused thyroid. (At the time, I did get a second opinion. The second M.D. basically said he had no idea what was the right thing to do, and I could take the drugs or just wait and see what would happen. I wish I had been LESS proactive.)

In fact, women with post-partum thyroiditis shouldn't always be treated; this article says that no treatment is recommended unless the symptoms are too uncomfortable: "If hypothyroidism during postpartum thyroiditis is causing significant symptoms, experts recommend thyroid hormone replacement treatment. Typically, the medication is administered for up to three months, and then stopped so that testing can be done again in another four to six weeks." No one did this for me. I was told I'd be on medication for life, which I feel like in some ways is a blatant lie.


*I keep reading blogs where women like me end up just making the firm decision to cut out certain foods for a prolonged, sometimes indefinite, amount of time. They choose to do this because it makes such a dramatic difference in their health and their thyroid hormone levels. I think I need to do the same.


*I have been told by one doctor that I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, which as far as I can tell means that I have TPO antibodies that attack my own thyroid...

*...however, I have also read that many women have these same antibodies post-partum. In some women the antibodies do nothing, and in some the antibodies attack the thyroid a little, and in some women they end up permanently damaging the thyroid. Right now, I honestly have no idea where I fall on this spectrum. I have been treated for it for so long that I don't know what my body is doing on it's own. It's like dying your hair so much you no longer know what its real color is.

*Certain foods (gluten) seem to cause those of us who are already predisposed to have flare-ups or attacks of auto-immunity. And then there are foods that are just specific people problems (for me, corn, strawberries...). I keep prematurely trying to work foods back into my diet because I want bread, dammit. I want cheesy pizza from Pizza Hut with a chaser of D.Q. Blizzard. But I think that it's in my best interest, and in the best interest of any future children we try to have, that I don't.

*Since I have for sure had 'thryoid problems' after pregnancy, I am likely to have them again. ("After postpartum thyroiditis that resolves, a woman still faces a substantially increased risk of developing hypothyroidism or a goiter later. Some experts estimate that as many as half the women who have hypothyroidism in postpartum thyroiditis will be permanently hypothyroid within seven years.") There is actually a 70% chance it will happen to me again, i.e. after a baby I will suffer an auto-immune attack on my thyroid. Hopefully nothing else! But I am hopeful that next time around I will be better prepared to prevent this from happening. I read this in a study:

"Selenium supplementation may decrease inflammatory activity in pregnant women with autoimmune hypothyroidism, and may reduce the risk of postpartum thyroiditis in women who are positive for thyroid peroxidase (TPO) antibodies. This was illustrated in a trial of 151 TPO-positive women randomly assigned to receive selenium (200 mcg daily) or placebo (beginning at about the 12th week of gestation). Postpartum thyroiditis occurred in 22 of 77 women (29%) in the selenium group, compared to 36 of 74 (49%) in the placebo group [28]. The routine clinical application of this supplementation requires further study."

As I said in my last blog post, I'm not taking anything right now that is supposed to 'support' my thyroid or replace its hormones. I am taking things that are anti-inflammatory, like ginger, green tea, CoQ10, milk thistle...

I haven't found out what my current thyroid levels are, but it seems to me that my thyroiditis (the swinging from high to low and back again) are leveling out. I have minute arthritis or fatigue in the early morning and late afternoon (which signal hypothyroidism to me) and then it all disappears.

I have a crazy hope and fervent prayer that my thyroid will figure itself out. With a restricted diet, good supplements, and great nutrition, I'm really hoping that my body balances out and I can start to heal, really heal and be healthy. If it doesn't and I end up taking something again, well, I'll face that when I come to it. Right now before I go to sleep, I am going to dare to hope. Hope that I do not have to take a pill again for years. Hope that I can have another Little Q. Hope that I can be proof that something weird and alternative and difficult does work.

Quotes taken from About.com and Clinical aspects of recurrent postpartum thyroiditis by J H Lazarus, F Ammari, R Oretti, A B Parkes, C J Richards, and B Harris.

Me, The Perennial Advocate

Today I had a check-up with my Physician's Assistant, to confirm that I am not dead nor have I passed out since my abysmal TSH level of .023.

My Physician's Assistant was less than enthused to hear that I am still not taking any medication. I am maintaining my adherence to Cool Acupuncture Guy's advice to start taking the herbal thyroid-stimulation stuff when I started to feel hypothyroid again.

Now, I understand that modern Western medicine simply can't base any of their treatments on people's 'feelings' or symptoms. But I also think that they dismiss people's feelings as irrelevant and unreliable the majority of the time.

So, my Physician's Assistant tried to tell me how I needed to stop yanking my thyroid around (which is a whole separate issue, I'll get to it!), I needed to take some form of medication for my thyroid, and how we needed to check my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormones) but that insurance wouldn't pay for it.

At first I was a little annoyed, because I have been taking medication for the better part of a year and I believe that the over-dosages I've been prescribed and the misunderstanding of my problem have made the problem worse.

The reason I stopped taking medication recently is because I was so super-duper hyper-thyroid that I was in a dangerous place. Basically, I was having difficulty understanding why she was frustrated when I a) for the most part feel fine right now and b) because I felt fine, I assumed that I wasn't hypothyroid, which is the only thing that will justify me taking medication again.

I did my best to stay calm and explain this to her, which she agreed with. She reiterated that I was supposed to start taking something again after a few days. I explained that after a few days my muscles were still twitching and that I still haven't gained weight back, just maintained. (By the by, they have stopped doing that completely and it's been almost four weeks.)

Once I got her on board with the fact that I was trying to jump-start my thyroid, she was more encouraging. She warned me that since I had had a TSH blood test recently, my insurance might not pay for another. I had to state repeatedly that I understood her concerns and I had to beg for an answer to whether or not she could treat me better with a TSH test now instead of later. The answer--yes. Another way insurance screws with the way doctors treat their patients. She wanted the numbers but almost didn't order the test because she was afraid of insurance not footing the bill.

In the end, I had my blood drawn. I want to know what's going on with my numbers too. But I also know that I haven't felt so fatigued or apathetic or depressed--like I did when I was hypothyroid.

I have read over and over again (I hope to expound on this in my next blog post...) that many women who already have anti-bodies against their own thyroids develop post-partum thyroiditis. The normal treatment if a woman has subclinical hypothyroidism (almost too low, but just borderline) is to either wait and see if the woman's thyroid levels itself out or to treat it minimally for a few weeks or months and then back off on the meds and then see if the thyroid kicks back into gear.

Looking back on my earliest test results, I was one of those women. Instead of being treated minimally or not treated at all, I was given a synthetic hormone dose based on my weight. Even though part of my thyroid was still working, I received a full dose of hormone.

That sent my body into a big swing in the other direction-hyperthyroidism. I was taken off medication for about a month or so. Then, I was treated again and my body continued to attack my thyroid. Right now, until I receive information to the contrary, I am hopeful that the reason I have had such a hard time bouncing back from post-partum thyroiditis is because I haven't been treated properly.

Like everything else, some doctors would agree and some would disagree. I think I'll do my best to make informed decisions based on how I feel, what my numbers are, AND what the herbalist and my physician's assistant think. I'll weigh it all and decide what to do. Right now, I'm not taking a damn thing and I really hope my thyroid is up to the challenge.

Got Cancer? Blame Your Dryer.

This post is actually exhausting for me to think about. My friend was just lamenting about how there are things to be afraid of everywhere and, really, we can only do so much to limit our exposure to stuff that harms our bodies. However, I do think that if you can change this or that and avoid exposure to something bad...? Why not.

Years ago, when we were first taking our DS to the pediatrician, we asked about his eczema. She advised taking out scented products, anything that could irritate his skin. One of her first suggestions was to stop using dryer sheets. At the time, in my naivete, I said, "What will we use instead?" And she just said, "Well, you'll have more static-y clothes. It won't kill you."

She also said she detested dryer sheets and that she never used them.

Let me pause to say that it is absolutely crazy to me that a DOCTOR had such strong feelings about dryer sheets. It was as if she didn't trust them.

So I have heard mutterings again recently about dryer sheets and how bad they can be for us, because of the chemicals that float around in the air as the clothes dry. Today at the grocery store I hesitated between the Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day dryer sheets and the Arm & Hammer Essentials ones. The Arm & Hammer ones were half the price for double the loads of laundry.

I have to say that Mrs. Meyer's disclosed all the ingredients in their dryer sheets, which is wholly unique. Every other dryer sheet I checked (which was quite a few, my DS had a cartoon cart, so I had extra time ;) did not list any ingredients whatsoever. Mrs. Meyer's first ingredient was some sort of di-not-pronounceable something something, which made me wonder why it was so expensive if it used chemicals anyway? This is a list of ingredients: Di-(Palm Carboxyethyl) Hydroxyethyl Methlammonium Methyl Sulfate, Palm Fatty Acid, Fragrance*, Citrus Medica Limonum (Lemon) Peel Oil, Abies Alba (Fir) Leaf Oil, Cymbopogon Schoenanthus (Lemongrass) Oil.

Arm & Hammer promised that their dryer sheets were 'all natural', which I think means absolutely nothing. In any case, price won out this time, but after researching why dryer sheets aren't great, I think I might regret my decision. I can't find their ingredients anywhere, but I might email the company and ask.

Apparently most of the chemicals that are carcinogenic in dryer sheets are coming from the scent, so it seems like an easy fix to buy the 'free & clear' versions of dryer sheets. The study that everyone is referencing was really simple; test dryers were thoroughly cleaned beforehand, the same pre-cleaned towels were dried, and a canister captured the gases that came out of the dryer during the cycle.

Science Daily says that "analysis of the captured gases found more than 25 volatile organic compounds, including seven hazardous air pollutants, coming out of the vents. Of those, two chemicals -- acetaldehyde and benzene -- are classified by the Environmental Protection Agency as carcinogens, for which the agency has established no safe exposure level. These products can affect not only personal health, but also public and environmental health. The chemicals can go into the air, down the drain and into water bodies."

Looking online for alternatives to dryer sheets I found that using balls of wool works just as well for some people. I might give that a shot next. The plastic dryer balls are...plastic. In heat. That one seems foolhardy.

Right now, though, I am going to go mourn the loss of the dryer sheet from my life. I love the smell of clean clothes. Time to detox, I guess....

I Heard My Savior on NPR

I didn't really hear Jesus on NPR, but I heard something amazing and (for me at least!) unprecedented on NPR. It was the authors of a new book called Your Medical Mind, Jerome Groopman and Pamela Hartzband. The link to an excerpt is here. The interview can be listened to online and you can read the article here.

I enjoyed listening to the author-doctors talk because it was like finally hearing an M.D. (two M.D.s!) affirm some of the things that I have been thinking on lately. The docs said that everyone is different and that half a dose of one drug might work for one guy and not another. "Treating the patient as an individual — and not as a statistic or algorithm to be solved — is vitally important, says Groopman, because the best and safest care might not always be standardized."


At one point in the interview, the docs frankly admit that doctors these days can't treat patients on their own terms (that is, on a patient-by-patient basis) because the insurance companies won't let them. The insurance company latches onto certain numbers and doses and indicators of health--so called, 'best practices'."If you step back, you can have different groups of experts coming out with different best practices," he says. "And what that tells you is that there is no right answer when you move into this gray zone of medicine." 

What?! We're all individuals? I am in love with these doctors. Listen to this: " ... But what's happened, we believe, is that many of these expert committees have overreached. And they're trying to make [medicine] one size fits all and dictate that every diabetic is treated [the same] way or every woman with breast cancer should be treated [the same way]. Treating the patient as an individual — and not as a statistic or algorithm to be solved — is vitally important, says Groopman, because the best and safest care might not always be standardized."

And remember how I've been ranting that everything that doctors, the FDA, the ubiquitous 'they' tell us changes all the time?! These doctors speak to that too: "From an analysis of 100 best practices put together by committees in internal medicine, Groopman and Hartzband discovered that 14 percent were contradicted within a year. Within two years, a quarter of the best practices were contradicted, and by five years, almost half of the rules were overturned."

At the beginning of the interview one of the doctors even told a story about how side-effects of our drugs can be so bad, it really doesn't justify taking the drug. As someone with high-cholesterol, the Dr. Groopman was supposed to take a Statin drug. One of his doctor friends, however, had taken a Statin and had suffered irreversible muscle-nerve damage. It was refreshing to hear a doctor admit that drugs aren't perfect.

I haven't read the book, but I am so excited to hear that some doctors aren't by-the-numbers dipshits. Sorry, but that's how I feel. Some doctors are wonderful and some aren't. They're all just human. 

Are Ingredient Labels Really In English?!

I'm just going to rant today. I suppose, when it comes down to it, that's really all I'm doing on this blog. :)

I am frustrated with ingredient labels. Awhile ago, a friend texted me and asked what this phrase, on an organic all-wonderful pizza said: "all dairy ingredients do not contain animal enzymes or animal rennet."

I have no idea what this means. There are so many things on ingredient labels that make no sense whatsoever. I think the manufacturers like it that way.

Now, this is a little gross, by my friend searched and rennet comes from the fourth stomach of some animals. eHow (which I know isn't the best source, but I liked this article) has this to say: "Animal rennet is made from rennin, an enzyme that is secreted in the fourth stomach of calves, lambs, and goats. It is most often derived from the dried and ground stomachs of unweaned calves and is used in making cheese." At least we're trying to use the whole animal, I guess. It's nice to know that the pizza was animal-friendly, but the point is that we had no idea what it meant.:)

On my daughter's formula stuff (which I really haven't been giving her, because of the weird ingredients), it says proudly "non-GEO"! I take this to be a good thing, but I have no idea what it means. Google tells me it means "Genetically Engineered Organism." It must be akin to GMO.

It still boggles my mind that we have to worry about something like that. So far though it's only the products that are NOT GEO or GMO that tell me about it. Do we have to assume that everything that doesn't have that notification has been messed with in a lab somewhere.

I searched and hardly anything in our pantry (hallelujah!) has weird ingredients. Reading as many labels as I have lately, for one reason or another, I have seen a great many preservatives, chemicals, and whatnot that I don't recognize. 

An article from Physorg.com lists the Top 10 Additives in our food. "The longer manufacturers use these additives, the more we learn about their impacts. While some additives are harmless, others cause everything from hives and asthma to nausea and headaches in some people. Some experts recommend avoiding foods listing more than five or six ingredients or ingredients of longer than three syllables and purchasing foods that contain such natural additives as fruits and vegetables." 

Though I honestly can't say what sort of source this is, I'm inclined to agree. The article is interesting. Apparently apples are pumped full of "METHYLCYCLOPROPENE" to stop them from ripening too much. Something called "ASTAXANTHIN" is put into farmed fish because wild-caught fish have it naturally. Plus whatever the heck it is helps them turn pink. "CANTHAXANTHIN"is put into egg yolks (sick...) to make them more yellow. Of course in small amounts it's fine, but larger amounts have been shown to cause retinal damage?!

Come on. Why is this stuff in our food?! There's all the stuff I had heard of before: BHA, Nitrates, Nitrites, Sulfites, High-Fructose Corn Syrup, MSG...there are too many to count. 

The funny thing to me is that I have found numerous other bloggers who have written about this same topic, but not so many professional articles. Perhaps that means all us paranoid people are making a big stink about nothing. But I don't think so. Horrible health problems aren't disappearing with our new technology and improved science. We're surrounded by toxic additives, preservatives, and additives in everything we eat, so we shouldn't be surprised at occurrences of autoimmune problems, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc. etc. 

All the same, it's hard to avoid. Lots of the 'natural' and 'organic' foods I've seen use other weirdo ingredients, like soy lecithin, carrageenan....I wonder if the more extraction and the more processing that goes on (for example, to turn sea algae into a gel called carrageenan) the worse it is for us. 

The Healthy Times Blog has a great image to illustrate how much crap is hiding in stuff: 

Click here to see the Healthy Times Blog that discusses some of these additives. One reason this blog is so great is because it lists the category of chemicals (rather than listing all of the crazy chemicals individually): acids, anti-caking agents, bulking agents, food colorings, emulsifiers, stabilizers, thickeners, flavors, something to keep foods from drying up, preservatives, and sweeteners. 

One of many good blogs on the topic: http://www.nofinishlineblog.com/2011/02/food-additives-to-avoid.html. Be warned, the picture on this blog (There Is No Finish Line) is kind of grotesque, but makes his point. 


This is just another area in which we can't possibly foresee how this sort of crap affects us long-term. Some things have already been proven to have ill-effects, but so many of these things are 'in such small amounts' that they are deemed 'safe.' (I just checked my usage of effect and affect and I think I can use BOTH versions in one paragraph correctly! Points for me.)

Today's Long Term Goal: Meet John Cusack

I think it's about time for another update of my actual health instead of more rantings about how health-less our society is today, mostly by well-meaning accident.

Today being Saturday, I haven't taken any thyroid medication (neither the herbal Thyroxal or the M.D. version to treat the same problem-Levothyroxine) for 2 and a half weeks.

The other day my dad asked me how I was feeling and I had a hard time summarizing. I don't feel as crazy as I felt before; i.e., I don't have as much trouble falling asleep, I don't have as much twitchiness, and I haven't had any chest pains.

Today I feel just normal, which is my heart's greatest desire. I am tired in the afternoon, but a normal sort of tired that comes from living. My leg is still twitching randomly (and in a not-so-normal way) but it's getting to be less and less. I have arthritis still, sometimes worse than others, but that makes sense if my body is trying to figure itself out. I think that I am swinging back and forth a bit between hyper- and hypo-. This is what Cool Acupuncture Guy said was happening. He also said that my body just needs to get the hang of it and, with the right nutritional and herbal resources, will fix itself.

I'm afraid that in a week I will swing back the 'other' way and be hypothyroid again, fatigued and apathetic about everything.

But, reality aside, I like to think that this is what will happen:

Next week I will realize that is has been three weeks since I've taken medication and will feel better than ever. And week four, I will go back to my Physician's Assistant to get my TSH levels checked and she will say they are perfectly normal. I will gain some weight (but not too much) and not feel so insubstantial. After that, every time I get my blood checked it will be normal and all the crazy antibodies I had will disappear! And also, as I've previously mentioned, a fairy will come by my house with fluffy baby animals and a sack-load of money for us. I might even get to finally meet John Cusack.

For the record, I am still taking ClearVite. For the past few days I have also taken some anti-inflammatory herbs and joint stuff--green tea, milk thistle, ginger, and glucosamine. And even though I'm still on a super restricted diet, I had a Fun-Size Snickers yesterday and nothing horrible happened besides a few extra, suspicious tummy rumbles. I'm not saying I'm going to be downing any of the 'forbidden' items regularly anytime soon, but that is hopeful! (If I could go eat anything, I think I would go to Applebee's, have a burger with a regular bun and a Blonde Brownie with the sizzling caramel syrup. Or Chili's corn chips and salsa. Or...well, the list is pretty long.)

My good news doesn't end there! My hair is growing back. I don't want to make it sound like I'm a cancer patient or anything, but after my DS's birth, my hair thinned out and grew back right away. Someone even asked if I was growing bangs because I have all these annoying, wispy baby hairs everywhere. Anyway, after my c-section, my hair just kept on falling out. Until recently, I'd been feeling like I might just lose it all. Now you can see baby hairs all over and I'm thankful for them. :)

Supersized Growth Charts?

Disclaimer! I don't find the answer to my own question about whether or not growth charts today are super-sized. There'll have to be a Part 2...

I recently took my kids in for their 12-month (she's actually 14 months) and 3 year old appointments. After trying to get me to give DD more vaccinations because she's close to her 15 month appointment (and being flatly refused), we moved on to weight issues.

At our last appointment, my pediatrician told me that since my DD was moving around more often, she probably wouldn't gain a ton of weight and would instead be burning off her baby fat.

In fact, she is just one pound more now than she was last time we brought her to the doc. She showed me on the growth chart that her head circumference and height were average for her age, but her weight was just a bit below.

Now, I still think that my daughter could stand to gain a few pounds, but as I got to thinking about this growth chart some questions started to form in my mind. Firstly, isn't this growth chart just a chart of averages? Based on other children? Secondly, has this growth chart been adjusted for our own increase in size? Thirdly, if this is true, then the chart is just based on how big our kids have been growing based on a diet filled with hormone-laden milk and meat and processed foods?

Gathering a bunch of averages from babies and kids all over the place is well and good, but I don't think it can tell me how big any other kids should be. Where is the logic there? That we're all human so we should all be about the same size? My ass. We're all totally and completely different.

I keep seeing those images of a hamburger today vs. a hamburger from the 1970s. You've seen them, I'm sure. I think Morgan Spurlock might have mentioned it in his SuperSize Me movie...This graphic is from http://tigerfitnessla.com/blog/weight-loss/portion-distortion-meal-size-health/, but I have seen something like it everywhere lately.

I think that my daughter might fit more on the left side and the average kid might be more on the right. Where is the chart comparing my daughter to other girls who eat organic-food and mostly homemade stuff? That's the chart I want to see. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to resassure myself that she's fine.

For children under 2, our government recommends the WHO Growth Charts: WHO Growth Charts. The WHO Methodology (part of their Reference Study) is posted here. The standards for these charts can be found here.

The standards state that: "The MGRS [Multi-Growth Reference Study] collected primary growth data and related information from approximately 8500 children from widely different ethnic backgrounds and cultural settings (Brazil, Ghana, India, Norway, Oman and the USA). The new growth curves are expected to provide a single international standard that represents the best description of physiological growth for all children from birth to five years of age and to establish the breastfed infant as the normative model for growth and development."

I find this to be hilarious. Why? Because if you hadn't noticed, people and children of different ethnic backgrounds are different sizes. There are even runts and giants within each ethnicity. Why should my kid, who comes from basically Germanic/Nordic peoples who are terribly pale and pasty looking, be at all the same as a kid who comes from more robust stock? I think that both could be perfectly healthy and be vastly different sizes. I don't think there can be a perfect average number to point at.  

I do think that you can tell just by looking at a kid that he/she may not be thriving or is malnourished, etc. etc.

I have to give WHO kudos though, for noticing exactly the type of disparity I'm talking about. In 1993, they all got together and realized that their growth curves were based primarily on babies who were, as they put it, 'artificially fed' and that those babies couldn't possibly be used as a measure for breastfed babies. They even tried to use non-smoking mothers in their study, which seems like a minute (but important) detail. Here's their reasoning:

"Recent research conducted by WHO shows that the growth pattern of healthy breastfed infants
differs significantly from the current international reference. The negative deviations are large enough to lead health workers to make faulty decisions regarding the adequacy of the growth of breastfed infants, and thus to advise mothers to supplement unnecessarily, or even to stop breastfeeding altogether. Given breastfeeding’s health and nutritional benefits, this potential misinterpretation of the growth pattern of healthy breastfed infants has great public health significance. The premature introduction of complementary foods can have life-threatening consequences for young infants in many settings, especially where the role of breastfeeding in preventing severe infectious morbidity is crucial to child survival."

What I think is most important about this whole thing is to note that again, an outside entity (made up of fallible humans), is trying to quantify something very difficult to quantify. And all the doctors jump on board. So, regardless of whether a child was healthy-looking and happy, they were 'making faulty decisions' based on a stupid chart. We're all such dummies. 

I did learn that the CDC charts (for kids over 2) are really the ones I should be looking at to see if they account for kids eating crappy American diets versus kids eating...a little less crappily. Keep you posted. ;) 

Even better than all these would be a chart from God letting me know if she's just healthy. Averages don't mean anything except that she's the same as everyone else. A chart that compares my DD to me and her grandmothers back a few generations would be more helpful, but unfortunately nobody is making those sorts of data banks.

Until God or J.K. Rowling (What? She's invented lots of cool...imaginary...things...) produces such a document, I am going to take the edict that my baby is too small with a grain of salt.

Dys-Whatever-Osis!

I have been wondering lately about something called dysbiosis.

This blogger (http://intestinaldysbiosis.com/) calls it: "Dysbiosis is the opposite of symbiosis,  which basically means “living in harmony.” Intestinal,  or gut dysbiosis is a state that occurs when the intestinal flora has been disturbed or is out of balance."

I keep reading that if the flora in your body is out of balance, it has a profound effect on your health and immune system.

The reason I have been thinking about this at all is that, as everyone probably knows, after a C-Section they pump you full of all sorts of anti-biotics because it's a major surgery. I don't know what they gave me because when someone changes that damn bag they don't even feel the need to inform you what it is or what the side-effects might be. I asked once and the nurse just said 'anti-biotics', as if there were only one kind.

After the surgery (right away) I puked and had lots of discomfort, but I suppose that's normal for a C-section. Periodally over the next eight or nine months, I would have bouts of puking and the Big D. One time everyone else got sick too, so I'm sure it was a stomach bug. But the other times...? I just wonder if the anti-biotics caused a major imbalance.

Dysbiosis Symptoms

• Fatigue and Tiredness
• Dandruff and Skin Problems
• Acid Reflux Disease
• Constipation and Diarrhea
• Anxiety and Depression
• Oral Thrush
• Bloating and Weight Gain
• Vaginal Yeast Infections
• Trouble Concentrating
• Diabetes and Prediabetes
• Low Immunity
• Autoimmune Diseases

Huffington Post has a great article on this written by an M.D. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mark-hyman/5-steps-to-kill-hidden-ba_b_739213.html): "In the West our increased use of vaccinations and antibiotics and enhancements in hygiene have lead to health improvements for many. Yet these same factors have dramatically changed the ecosystem of bugs in our gut, and this has a broad impact on health that is still largely unrecognized." Near the end of this article the Doc links autism with gut imbalances. Autism. !

And then what really applies to me: "Autoimmune diseases are also linked to changes in gut flora. A recent study showed that children who use antibiotics for acne may alter normal flora, and this, in turn, can trigger changes that lead to autoimmune disease such as inflammatory bowel disease or colitis."

The recommended diet to help guard against dysbiosis just matches up with everyone else's version of a healthy diet--nuts, beans, veggies, fruits, whole grains. Something to think about.

My Confessional

I just wanted to write to say that despite my best efforts and my sometimes grandstanding, I still forget my 'green' shopping bags when I go to the store. The look on the cashier's faces when I go to Natural Grocer's is priceless.

"Do you have your shopping bags?"

"Oh, crap. No....do you have some?"

"No." Steely eyed glare.

"Oh. Okay..."

"We have boxes. Did you want a box?"

"Well, yes, I guess I'll have to use the boxes. I'll recycle them?"

I haven't gotten rid of ALL of our plastic storage containers because it's going to take a million years and it's expensive to get glassware. One piece at a time....

I tried to stand up to the dentist about my fillings and when push came to shove, I backed down.

I let the pediatrician bully me into thinking my daughter was too little for her age and I gave her some weird ass toddler formula that I'm still not sure about. Really she is happy and healthy, walks and talks, and has her own mind like any one-year-old.

I want to have a VBAC, but am not sure if I have deep-down what it takes to do it.

Even though I know I'm supposed to restrict my diet A LOT, I still think it'll be okay if I have that one thing with a little bit of that ingredient in it. I'm an idiot.

I don't eat enough vegetables.

Sometimes I don't buy organic because it's just too damn much more money than the crappy GMO foods.

I think we're all just trying to do our best.

Pick Your Poison

So this is like Part 3 of plastic-land posts. This is from a few blogs ago: "I recently found out that BPA is even in the ceramic-white dental fillings. More on that later. I'm a little pissed about it because if our only choices for fillings are mercury or BPA, then I'm seriously considering living a) with a cavity or b) without a tooth."

I did some more research and it looks like my new favorite site has some input on the options:
http://www.rodale.com/dental-fillings-mercury-and-bpa

Here's their rub on the mercury fillings:
"And despite the presence of mercury, a toxic metal, in amalgam fillings, most people will be exposed only to very low levels of it (0.08 to 0.2 micrograms of vapor per day per filling). Dr. Mackert also points to studies showing that dentists, who can be exposed to mercury for as many as 8 hours per day over a period of 20 to 30 years, don’t build up dangerous levels of mercury in their systems despite their chronic exposure...mercury fillings continue to release vapors for as long as they’re in your mouth...study after study has failed to link amalgam mercury to health problems later in life. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in April 2006 followed 500 Portuguese children with both types of fillings. After 7 years, the kids with amalgam fillings didn’t show any more signs of lowered IQ, attention deficit disorder, or motor skills than the kids with the composite fillings."

I still feel like this is one of those instances when you can't put a "safe" amount on something poisonous. But it is compelling that dentists don't have more mercury poisoning. More than one person has told me that mercury fillings are causing a lot of health problems for a lot of people. In some ways, I'm starting to trust anecdotal evidence (or at least respect it) as much as I do medical research.

Then this particular site's take on the 'composite' filling:

"Dr. Mackert says that very few composite fillings contain the chemical bisphenol A (BPA), which has been linked to cancer, diabetes, and hormone disruption. Patients are more likely to be exposed to the chemical through dental sealants rather than fillings. And Congress has proposed a ban on BPA, which may eliminate the issue altogether. In addition, a few brands do contain BPA, as a primary component or as a product of other materials when they break down."

This surprised me. I went to a dentist that flat-out said his sealants had BPA, but lots of sites say that "dental sealants and fillings don't contain BPA, but many of them contain compounds that turn into BPA on contact with saliva." (http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/news/20100907/bpa-from-dental-sealants-fillings-is-it-safe).

I went to a dental practice's web site that had a whole page devoted to how they do not use mercury fillings (um, they must have felt there was a need, right?) and that they thoroughly polish and clean the composite fillings afterwards so that the BPA doesn't have a chance to form with your saliva. That's very thoughtful and considerate in our society; imagine a professional dental practice taking our health concerns into account? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure...I think I may have messed up that saying, but you get the idea.

And here's the scary part:
"Research shows that BPA levels in saliva skyrocket by around 88 times higher than normal (and what constitutes a “normal” level of a toxic substance?) right after a dental sealing. Experts agree there is no “safe” level of exposure to BPA. This chemical is one that you should not be exposed to at any level, said von Saal, Curators professor of biology at the University of Missouri at Columbia. This is why it is shocking that multiple media outlets have started claiming that BPA is actually not a danger to health, despite routine research proving that this gender-bending chemical is nothing to play around with."
(http://naturalsociety.com/harvard-study-finds-bisphenol-a-in-dental-fillings-and-sealants-media-spin-begins/).

I kind of wish I had gone to the dentist with a more firm opinion on what sort of filling I would want. The whole 'advocating for myself' thing has gotten exhausting. I asked for just a cleaning with no x-rays and the dental assistant didn't know what to do with me. They acted like if I didn't want x-rays, I might as well just go home and brush my own teeth.

The assistant reassured me that the x-ray was a low-level, blah blah, and the dentist reassured me that it was such a low-level of BPA that it didn't matter.

Did you know that they used to x-ray pregnant women's abdomen's (yes, exactly where their little peanut was growing) in the '40's and '50's? They also used to use giant, powerful x-ray machines in shoe stores when they were the brand new thing. They did those things until they learned from experience that all their assurances about x-rays being safe and the levels being safe were, well, lies.

So...I guess I'm preaching to myself. I want to be well-informed so that I can say "You know what? I know a dentist who will respect my request not to have x-rays and will give me fillings without BPA. I'll go give them my business."

Don't Borrow Worry From Tomorrow...

I finally talked to Cool Acupuncture Guy today about my crazy hyperthyroid status.

He is so chill about everything.

Me: "We're finally talking in person!"

CAG: "It's a miracle!"

Me: "I know..."

CAG: "Well, what's going on with your thyroid?"
Me: "Well, after I saw you last week I went to the Physician's Assistant and got my TSH checked...and it was super low (which means my thyroid hormones are super high...it's opposite and confusing), which is no surprise because I felt it. The PA told me to stop taking anything for my thyroid at all for at least two days. I haven't taken anything for a week...I was just wondering what your recommendations were. I feel fine; I haven't had any trouble falling asleep...? I'm still taking the ClearVite though."

CAG: "You say you feel fine?"

Me: "Right now, yeah..."

CAG: "Well, I think that your immune system will start to calm down, if you stay on the right diet and keep taking ClearVite. It will calm down and then you'll probably go a little hypothyroid, and when you do, you can call me and we'll decide what to do. But then after awhile I think your body will realize that it's hypo and it will correct itself."

Me: "When I do start taking Thyroxal can I take less...?"

CAG: "Yes, sure, it just depends on your symptoms. Your body doesn't need Thyroxal right now."

Me: "Right. It certainly was effective though. Okay, thank you!"

It was very reassuring. Whereas the P.A. just told me I could maybe pass out and looked all worried, the CAG was really chill, which is helpful to me. I am the type of person who needs someone to just answer "Yes, it's going to be fine," when I need them to. :)

Right now, my leg keeps on twitching (a hyperthyroid symptom?) but my arthritis is starting back up (a hypothyroid symptom?) so I guess I'll just wait and see what the heck happens.

Plastic Schmastic, Part 2

Because I think I have scared some people with my last blog, I did some more research to confirm what I have already found. :) The results are...I still think plastic is bad for us.

Scattered throughout this article (http://blog.al.com/living-news/2009/01/do_common_plastics_raise_cance.html, 2009) are government admonishments and the usual plea to 'not panic' and not to do anything 'rash', i.e. stop buying plastic.

Are they worried that if too many people stop buying plastic in large numbers, that the economy will get even worse? Perhaps. In any case, aside from the reality that evidence isn't yet 'conclusive' and that no one knows how much plastic is dangerous and how much is 'safe', the article said this:

"Coral A. Lamartiniere, a top toxicologist and senior scientist at UAB's Comprehensive Cancer Center, said low levels of bisphenol-A, BPA, given orally to rodents caused tumors and genetic changes consistent with early stages of cancer growth...Lamartiniere said there was no doubt about his study results, and animals were tested at concentrations of BPA similar to exposures experienced by people."

In response to a member of a Senate committee saying that the who the heck knows just HOW MUCH BPA the rats were given, Lamartiniere says: "In fact, it's below the concentration that the EPA deems safe," he said. "With BPA we're finding changes that are consistent with oncogenisis, or cancer causation."

It bothers me quite a lot that the FDA, scientists, or anyone at all can throw a specific level out there for things like mercury, BPA, or anything carcinogenic or otherwise unhealthy. They don't know what level is safe because we're fallible humans and we don't know crap.

The research I did on mercury showed that the FDA kept changing what level of mercury was 'safe' as new evidence came up. What does that tell us? That even when we think we know something, we don't really know...crap. This article was from 2009 and two short years later more are admitting that, uh, plastic really isn't that great to be ingesting.

And the link I posted yesterday said that now they're finding that no plastic is safe (and that one was from 2011). That means that this chart:

...is crap.

It seems to me that saying one plastic is safer than another is like saying that the cancer you might get from it won't be as bad as it would be if you had regularly used an unsafe plastic.

If I get cancer even though I'm trying to avoid plastic, so be it, but I'm going to try to avoid it as much as I can. At least I'll know I put a good effort in. The bottom line is that it's not worth it.

PS-I found another crazy plastic blogger, from Mexico: http://nativestranger.blogspot.com/2005/07/unsafe-plastic_25.html.

Sheryl Crow Told Me To Do It!

I have recently learned something obvious and important: all plastic is bad. No, really, all of it is just a bunch of weirdo chemicals that screw up our hormones and God only knows (really, only He knows...) what else.

I started thinking about this for a few reasons. These aren't joke reasons, real reasons, because I can be a very shallow person:

1. Sheryl Crow said so. She said that she got breast cancer because she was always using the same water bottles, freezing them, letting them heat up in her car and drinking the water anyway. Temperature change makes things unstable; in this case, it makes the plasticy-nasty parts able to leach into your drink.

2. Everything my kids drink and eat out of is basically plastic. (Well, it was.) I started noticing that some of the plastic things I had purchased for my kids were visibly breaking down. You know how the plastic gets kind of 'roughed up' looking? Like it's peeling off and breaking down? It's probably best to put that container in the recycling bin before you ingest it accidentally.

3. I keep hearing about how microwaving in plastic is a bad idea. Given that temperature affects the stability of....everything, this makes sense. But then I realized that I microwave in Tupperware, I microwave stuff with plastic wrap on the top, etc. I have since mended my ways.

I have a friend (you know who you are!) who has given up microwaving completely because, um, it's not great for you if you inadvertantly end up eating your container AND the food you warmed up.

I posted this article on my Facebook wall: http://www.rodale.com/chemicals-plastic. They point-blank say that "There really aren't any "safer" plastics, and it's hard to predict which ones will leach estrogenic chemicals into your food. As this study shows, different plastics containing different types of foods will leach chemicals at different levels."

They also explain the chemical composition of plastic a little: "A plastic item can subsist of anywhere from five to 20 chemicals, some of which are additives, which are incorporated within the plastic polymer but not bound to the structure." says George Bittner, Ph. D.

And there's more: "You also have mold-release agents and colorants that are used to make or decorate the plastics, adds Mike Usey, CEO of PlastiPure, and those colorants tend to be highly estrogenic."

Great--chemicals, coloring, anti-mold crap, and we wonder why the cancer rates go up every year? I am going to invest in glassware to store our leftovers in. It might be a slow process, as we can afford it, but it's totally worth it.

Then the big MacDaddy plastic that has been in the news all over, BPA. There are a bunch of links below about this. It's been deemed so bad, that California has officially banned BPA, at least in children's cups and bowls, etc. California bans BPA:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/09/02/BA1F1KUEH2.DTL

Now, I have seen California's Prop 65, and I used to think it was a little bit overboard. However, lately I have become consumed with a desire (yes, consumed!) that food producers were held to that higher standard in every state. The FDA really isn't doing a fantastic job on this front. "Oh, a teeny bit of mercury or BPA or -insert-cancer-causing-agent-here- is fine. Just a teeny bit. We'll change it later if we find out that that tiny amount is STILL bad for people."

From U.S. News: "BPA has raised concerns because it appears to mimic the effects of estrogen, interfering with hormone levels and cell signaling systems. Previous studies have shown that people exposed to high levels of BPA have a greater risk of developing uterine fibroids, breast cancer, decreased sperm counts, and prostate cancer."

BPA in plastic bottles: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080130092108.htm

How BPA is ending up on our money: http://www.newsreview.com/reno/dirty-money/content?oid=3484793

I recently found out that BPA is even in the ceramic-white dental fillings. More on that later. I'm a little pissed about it because if our only choices for fillings are mercury or BPA, then I'm seriously considering living a) with a cavity or b) without a tooth.

And lastly, even though everyone knows this, we're not just hurting ourselves:
Chemicals from plastic bottles in oceans: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/03/ocean-bpa/

I have found some awesome stainless steel and even glass (you'd have to look, they put a PLASTIC outer on it to prevent breakage) baby bottles, sippy cups, etc. They are about triple the cost of plastic ones from Target, but you can put different toppers on them and let your kids use them throughout elementary school, or longer. Thermos Foogo makes some, Klean Kanteen, Green Sprouts, The Safe Sippy, Pura Stainless Steel bottles, New Wave, and even Munchin makes some. I'm sure there are more online.

Temporary Insanity

I have been having some new and unexpected experiences lately. Namely, I have not been having the big D. :)

Now, I remember something that happened at my last 'herbal consultation' when I expressed my disappointment that I wouldn't be able to try to add foods back in sooner. It went something more or less like this:

Cool Acupuncture Guy: "It's only temporary."

Me: "What? What do you mean?"

CAG: "Well, I think that your immune system has a memory and if you remove some of the things that ramping it up, well then those cells will die off and we can kind of start over."

Me: "Really?"

CAG: "Yeah, we just need to get you stable."

I have to be honest and say that even though I'm trying to be open-minded I thought this sounded like crazy talk. I took the concept to my DH, who shrugged and basically pleaded the fifth.

Me: "What do you think about that?"
DH: "Um....it could work."

I asked him to clarify (Which sometimes for men seems like torture. "Don't make me use more words! Let me grunt and leave me alone!") and he said that he just thought we'd see if it worked or not, if my immune system had a long memory or a short memory.

I digress, as I so often do.

I wrote that the other day I had some eggs and it was fine. Small victories! Well, a few days ago I had some MILK chocolate (good ol' Hershey's) and some gluten-free pancakes that had buttermilk in the mix. Nothing notable happened.

Buoyed by this unexpected free pass, I had corn on the cob last night. It wasn't all sunshine and roses, but nothing happened like it did earlier this year. I'm going to let you read between the lines and spare you the details. :)

This is amazing to me. Maybe it's because the balance in my gut has finally been somewhat restored (or is being restored) or maybe it's because my immune system's memory is getting a little fuzzy. Whatever the case, my body's reaction to corn (and probably to some other things) isn't what it used to be. I do think there are some things that I am sensitive to, but I think there are other things that I will eat again.

That's reason to celebrate!

One Life to Live

I am still, still alive! This is surely a miracle from God. :)

Two days ago (um...Friday night?) it took me two hours to fall asleep because I was twitchy, I kept jerking awake because my heart was pounding, and my mind generally was just restless. No, this isn't normal. Now, it's not taking so much effort for me to fall asleep! Hopefully things just continue to get...less hyper.

I find it interesting that 'fatigue' is listed as a symptom for both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism. It seems that if you're too far on either end of the scale it doesn't help your body out at all. I made the mistake of thinking that if I was tired then I wasn't hyperthyroid...oops. Up until a week ago I felt fine and dandy and then all of a sudden...chest pain.

Right now I'm just light-headed and tired, but I can deal with that!

I am also at probably the lowest weight I have ever been at, which is not as attractive as it once seemed. I remember being at my heaviest weight and wishing I were teeny tiny and now I'm teeny tiny and I just feel unhealthy! People either assume I am naturally skinny, have an eating disorder, or am a very disciplined gym-rat. Frankly, I'm not sure anymore if any of those things are true! It's like dyeing your hair so frequently for so long that you forget what your natural hair color is. I also have much more sympathy for people with hormone-imbalances (any health issue) that have trouble losing weight.

Thanks for the positive thoughts and the prayers to the Almighty God!

Real Time Update--This Shit Just Got Real

Sooo....the name of this post reflects my current feelings.

I have been feeling hyper-thyroid for the past week-ish. This means that I have had chest pain, I feel super energetic (which is actually kind of nice), I have lost weight (which is really angering), and I have a lot of trouble sleeping soundly.

I went to the Cool Acupuncture Guy on Tuesday and he said that I looked 'hyper' and recommended that I halve the dosage of the Levothyroxine I'm taking. Now, I would like everyone to recall that CAG told me to take Thyroxal at the same time as the Levo, or at least, that's what I thought he said.

So imagine my surprise when I went in to the Physician's Assistant today and found out the my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) is about .023. Normal is somewhere around 1.8 to 2.4 depending on who you're talking to. Everyone seems to have different opinions about these things.

In any case, it was an eventful morning.

PA: "Um...your TSH is reeeeally bad."

Me: "What is it?"

PA: "It's really low, .023, it's almost 0."

Me: "Like, not .23, but ZERO-point-two-three?"

PA: "Yes, it's very low....you might be killing off your thyroid. It's going to get exhausted."

Me: "What do I do?!"

PA: "Stop taking anything for a few days....just don't take anything. And then when you do take something, take just one thing--either the herbal or the Levo."

Me: "Okay...what happens if I get to 0?!"

PA: "It's hard to say. You might pass out...you're going to worry about this now, aren't you?"

Me: "Um, yes."

This was my morning. Good morning to me.

To her credit, this PA is kind of wonderful. She's open-minded and understands what I want for myself. She makes sure to write down in my chart 'Nicky is willful, self-medicates, and is seeing some acupuncturist who is trying to cure her." Thusly, she absolves herself from all responsibility should I pass out because I have basically been taking too much thyroid hormone.

As I am still alive, conscious, and typing, I am going to assume that I am going to be just fine. That I will not pass out, have seizures, or have anything else horrific happen to me because I am so hyper.

I had my blood drawn on Tuesday and it is now Thursday. In those two days I have already decreased my thyroid-drug intake, so I am also going to assume that I'm not as hyper as I was before.

Now, I want to point out that in the last three weeks that I have been taking Levothyroxine and Thyroxal at the same time, something has changed. I like to think that these little pills will work all by themselves and will help stimulate my thryoid to work again instead of me relying on Levo for my whole life.

On the other hand, I don't want to rely on Thyroxal my whole life either, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it...

In other updates, I spoke to the CAG about how I still stumble upon foods that give me the big D. I asked if I was ready to start adding food back in and (at least before I get diarrhea) enjoy wheat, dairy, etc. again. Sadly, because I'm not 'stable' he said that was a bad idea. I am supposed to get stabilized (which I take to mean stop having diarrhea by avoiding inflammatory foods for me) and come back in October so he can give me 'other stuff' that he has for me.

I'm so impatient to start that next step, but I understand the logic and prudence in waiting until I'm not so up-and-down all the time.

Sigh.