Me, The Perennial Advocate

Today I had a check-up with my Physician's Assistant, to confirm that I am not dead nor have I passed out since my abysmal TSH level of .023.

My Physician's Assistant was less than enthused to hear that I am still not taking any medication. I am maintaining my adherence to Cool Acupuncture Guy's advice to start taking the herbal thyroid-stimulation stuff when I started to feel hypothyroid again.

Now, I understand that modern Western medicine simply can't base any of their treatments on people's 'feelings' or symptoms. But I also think that they dismiss people's feelings as irrelevant and unreliable the majority of the time.

So, my Physician's Assistant tried to tell me how I needed to stop yanking my thyroid around (which is a whole separate issue, I'll get to it!), I needed to take some form of medication for my thyroid, and how we needed to check my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormones) but that insurance wouldn't pay for it.

At first I was a little annoyed, because I have been taking medication for the better part of a year and I believe that the over-dosages I've been prescribed and the misunderstanding of my problem have made the problem worse.

The reason I stopped taking medication recently is because I was so super-duper hyper-thyroid that I was in a dangerous place. Basically, I was having difficulty understanding why she was frustrated when I a) for the most part feel fine right now and b) because I felt fine, I assumed that I wasn't hypothyroid, which is the only thing that will justify me taking medication again.

I did my best to stay calm and explain this to her, which she agreed with. She reiterated that I was supposed to start taking something again after a few days. I explained that after a few days my muscles were still twitching and that I still haven't gained weight back, just maintained. (By the by, they have stopped doing that completely and it's been almost four weeks.)

Once I got her on board with the fact that I was trying to jump-start my thyroid, she was more encouraging. She warned me that since I had had a TSH blood test recently, my insurance might not pay for another. I had to state repeatedly that I understood her concerns and I had to beg for an answer to whether or not she could treat me better with a TSH test now instead of later. The answer--yes. Another way insurance screws with the way doctors treat their patients. She wanted the numbers but almost didn't order the test because she was afraid of insurance not footing the bill.

In the end, I had my blood drawn. I want to know what's going on with my numbers too. But I also know that I haven't felt so fatigued or apathetic or depressed--like I did when I was hypothyroid.

I have read over and over again (I hope to expound on this in my next blog post...) that many women who already have anti-bodies against their own thyroids develop post-partum thyroiditis. The normal treatment if a woman has subclinical hypothyroidism (almost too low, but just borderline) is to either wait and see if the woman's thyroid levels itself out or to treat it minimally for a few weeks or months and then back off on the meds and then see if the thyroid kicks back into gear.

Looking back on my earliest test results, I was one of those women. Instead of being treated minimally or not treated at all, I was given a synthetic hormone dose based on my weight. Even though part of my thyroid was still working, I received a full dose of hormone.

That sent my body into a big swing in the other direction-hyperthyroidism. I was taken off medication for about a month or so. Then, I was treated again and my body continued to attack my thyroid. Right now, until I receive information to the contrary, I am hopeful that the reason I have had such a hard time bouncing back from post-partum thyroiditis is because I haven't been treated properly.

Like everything else, some doctors would agree and some would disagree. I think I'll do my best to make informed decisions based on how I feel, what my numbers are, AND what the herbalist and my physician's assistant think. I'll weigh it all and decide what to do. Right now, I'm not taking a damn thing and I really hope my thyroid is up to the challenge.