Your Human Guinea Pig: The Encouragement of My Peers; Part 3

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The Encouragement of My Peers; Part 3

So, the incredibly uplifting side of having miscarriages is that it's time like these I am reminded of how loved I am. Let me show you pictorial proof:

Flowers From Dad Q

I haven't taken pictures of all the edible love I've received. Dad Q bought me the best box of chocolates ever, a Toblerone, Andes mints, IntaJuice, and gluten-free take-out pizza. I have been showered in indulgence. One of my bestest friends mailed these beauties:

Godiva Truffles!

My kids were around right after the ultrasound in which I found out I'd be having another miscarriage. It was particularly sad because, though it's possible to hold things together emotionally for me initially, it is impossible to hold it together when someone I trust is around. As soon as I saw Dad Q I burst into tears.

Girl Q: "Why are you crying? Are you sad?!"

Me: "Yes! Kind of, yes!"

Girl Q: "Oh. Don't worry. We'll go home and I'll make you happy."

Me: "Okay!"

Girl Q: "I can make you a painting to make you happy."

Me: "I would love that!"

And later:

Boy Q: "Did the Doctor hurt you?"

Me: "No..."

Boy Q: "So, did you get a shot?"

Me: "No, no, nothing like that."

Boy Q: "So the doctor did hurt you."

Me: "No, Boy Q, I found out that there was a baby in me but it's heart stopped beating."

Boy Q: "Oh. So it's dead, huh?"

Me: "Yeah..."

Boy Q: "And that makes your tummy hurt?"

Me: "It makes my heart hurt."

Precious Q Kids. These are my Happy Paintings from Girl Q:

Happy Paintings by Miniature Bob Ross

Every time she would bring me one, I'm not going to lie, it did make me happy. Most of them are flowers, but there's a sparkly greenish one near the middle that is a Christmas Tree.

There are many things I don't have pictures of. I don't have pictures of how often my parents checked in on me. I don't have a picture of how my in-laws drove a total of four hours just so Dad Q and I could go to the doctor together. I don't have a picture of the cousin who willingly watched our kids so we could figure stuff out and who (I'm still bowled over by this...) offered to drive here, take our children away, and then bring them back when it was appropriate! So many people have reached out and comforted us.

Today I worked at our small-town library and I had the pleasure of working with a woman who--wait for it!--has had three miscarriages, Lupus, several auto-immune conditions, and has lost a baby. I may have hugged her one too many times. It was a God Thing--a beautifully timed, much-needed, God Thing.

For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever.

Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.

For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow.

Lamentations 3:31-33

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us."

2 Corinthians 1:4-7

My perfect box of chocolates: